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Penn Station (New York City)

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NJ Quake: Earthquake in New Jersey?  Who Woulda Thunk It????

Oooookay…

   So I’m here at my desk working on my computer.  All’s quiet.  As I’m typing, my chair starts rocking side to side.  I’m thinking my dog is having a nightmare under my chair (he’s 165 lbs..).  I yell, “NICK!!!” and realize he’s across the room.  I look at the floor, as if my puny cat might be able to move my chair, and all of a sudden, I see my flat screen rocking on its pedestal.  Felt the floor moving under my feet.  My 4 year old is asleep on the other side of the house, I go to run to get out of the room, get to the hallway, thinking, wait, am I going nuts?  I look back to my office, and the tv’s still rocking, and now, so are my ceiling fans…  Then, it just stopped.

   Ok, so, big deal???  In NJ, it IS a BIG DEAL!!!  We had ONE tremor, back when I was 16 in Cliffside Park, NJ.  I think it was a 1.5.  Nothing.  Today’s earthquake, the epicenter was in VA, at magnitude 5.8, and 3.7 miles deep.  The Pentagon and White House were BOTH evacuated.  It was felt all the way down in NC, and all the way up to Rhode Island.  Buildings in NJ were evacuated, with many historic buildings reporting possible structural damage.  So far, thank goodness, many of those buildings have been given a green light. Mike Bloomberg is on CNN now, giving his speech, no major damage or disruptions, but they DID shut down the tunnels for a bit.  Engineers are inspecting buildings for cracks.  Penn Station train service was shut down for half an hour.  All nuclear plants are now being inspected for possible damage.   The President is due to come on CNN soon to talk about the impact.  Twitter and Facebook were ON FIRE.   I heard the stocks went up 300 points, wooHAHHHHH!!!!!

  And of course, we have 2 nuclear plants nearby (!).  This in from NJ.com and Associated Press:

The Oyster Creek nuclear power plant in Lacey Township, which is run by Exelon, is currently operating at full power, said spokeswoman Suzanne D’Ambrosio. Plant operators are following “seismic procedures,” which include walking throughout the facility to confirm the earthquake did not damage equipment or affect operations.

“We will continue to closely monitor plant equipment should there be any additional seismic activity,” D’Ambrosio said.

Exelon declared “unusual events” at its Oyster Creek, Limerick, Peach Bottom and Three Mile Island Unit 1 plants, a classification that is the lowest of the four emergency classifications used in the U.S. nuclear power industry, she added.”

Comforting, huh???

   Colorado  gets a 5.3 this morning ,  Va gets the 5.9, BOTH are getting aftershocks, and there could be 30 more on VA alone, man, SOMEBODY peed in Mother Nature‘s Cheerios this morning….

Oh, and update?  They said President Obama is STILL on the golfcourse playing golf….

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Cathay Pacific aircraft at Hong Kong Internati...

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Ooooooookaaaaay…
  This DEFINITELY brings a WHOLE new meaning to the term “cockpit…”

 
Cathay Pacific may delay a global marketing campaign, after photographs of crew members allegedly engaging in a sexual act were published.  What pictures, you ask?  Well, let’s just say a flight attendant, errrrr, SERVICING a pilot…  Awww, hell, she was giving him a blowjob!
 
The airline was due to launch the campaign in September.  Any idea what their new tagline’s gonna be???  Are ya ready?  Wait for it……
 
Its tagline was “Meet the team who go the extra mile to make you feel special”.
 
DOH!!!!!!!!!
 
“We are thinking of holding the campaign back for a little while because the timing doesn’t suit us at the moment,” a spokeswoman said.
 
Ya THINK???  Jeez, you BETTER come up with a whole new campaign, guys, and PLEASE, refrain from the use of the word “service” while you’re at it!!!
 
Last week, the Hong Kong-based carrier announced that two crew members photographed in “compromising situations” were no longer working for the company.  Compromising situations, compromising positions, it’s all the same load…  (oops, I said load…)  I like the animated adaptation of the girl coming on to the pilot, and the position that follows…  (!!!!!)
 
It gave no details on their duties for the airline.  And I’m sure it wasn’t her DUTY to SERVICE the pilot!
 
A number of photographs were recently published online and in Chinese-language newspapers.  Ya think they’ll ever get a job anywhere else?  Porn films not included, of course…
 
The newspapers claim the woman in the photographs was a flight attendant and the man a pilot, both of whom were working for Cathay Pacific.  (Working pretty HARD, I ASSume…)
 
They allege the photographs were taken in the cockpit of a Cathay Pacific plane.
 
Cathay’s chief executive, John Slosar, said there no evidence to suggest that the incidents happened on any flights while airborne.  (Ummmmmm, how the hell would YOU know?!?!?!?  AND, notice the PLURAL he used!)
 
“I find any behaviour that recklessly soils the reputation of our company or our team members as totally unacceptable,” Mr Slosar said in a statement.  (If nothing else, mighta soiled the seats!)
 
The airline is in the process of handing over details of its internal investigation to Hong Kong’s Civil Aviation Department.  Is the flight attendant, errr, handling them???
 
September’s marketing launch was supposed to be the second phase of an international campaign.  Methinks they’re gonna need a more “family friendly” tagline…
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NEW YORK, NY - MAY 01: People celebrate in the...

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Osama Bin Laden Is Dead…  REALLY????

Seriously??? 

  I gotta tell you, I cannot believe how angry I am right now.  I was at my mom’s last night watching CSI Miami when the news broke in five minutes before the end of the show. Yup, we never got to see the ends of CSI. That, my friends, is a sacrilege in and of itself! They make the announcement that Osama bin Laden is dead, and we have him in US custody. So, my mom and I sit and listen to the news for an hour, and I had to head home.

As I’m driving, I turn on the local talk radio, which is all talk 24 hours a day. Of course, for the hour, they want to hear everyone’s reactions to the news. The first two or three were pretty much what you’d expect. But the next guy, oh boy!  He immediately starts going on screaming that bin Laden isn’t dead. He starts lambasting the DJ that he should be ashamed of himself, because he’s not dead.  The DJ argues with him, saying that this word came from the government, and is he a moron?   Well… This guy starts going off on a tangent, and the DJ cuts him off.   The DJ starts saying here we go, another conspiracy theory.   The whole time, the guy was screaming that if he was dead, where are the pictures?    Now, this spurs me to remember that when Saddam Hussein was caught, the pictures were plastered all over the Internet.  Now, here we are, 12 hours since he was supposedly captured, and there is not a single picture of Osama bin Laden anywhere.   No comments from any of the Muslim websites anywhere. Now, you know and I know that anytime anything happens, the blogs catch fire with all of the posts on terrorist activity!

Fast-forward to 3 AM Eastern Standard Time, the news just keeps replaying the same thing over and over again.   So, I figure I’ll head to the gym, as I won’t be missing anything.   My workout takes all of an hour, and I get ready to leave.   Start up the car, and talk radio is still on.   All of a sudden, I all but slam on the brakes as I’m driving;  after two hours of asking myself, but why are there no photos?   Now, on Coast-to-Coast a.m., they’re saying conspiracy theorists are going to have a field day, bin Laden was buried at sea…

Wh wh what???  WHAT?!?!?!?  Are they freaking kidding me???   Supposedly, he was buried at sea because no one wanted his body!   How about the Americans?!?!!??    WE wanted his body!!!!   He was supposedly prepared as per his religion, and buried at sea.   Now, at this point I’m absolutely sick to my stomach.   I go home to wake my husband up for work, and his reaction is the same as mine.   People at Ground Zero and at the White House are still partying, because they have no clue.   We’re supposed to believe that we found public enemy number one, killed public enemy number one, never saw so much as a picture, and he was buried at sea.

What about all the families who lost family members on 9/11?   What about all the families that lost family members to military attacks?   How do they get closure?   What, on the word of the news?   On the news or reports?   Are they kidding?    Not even a picture of the man dead, and if it was gory, who cares?   We got to see all of the Americans jumping out of the World Trade Center towers, so that they wouldn’t be burned to death, and we got to see it over and over and over again.   There’s not much that can be worse than that.   Worried about it?   Then put a freaking warning before you show the picture!   I’m sorry, I’m just not buying it…

Next thing you know, one hour later, CNN news now reports, breaking news: Osama bin Laden’s brother is contacted, told of his brothers demise, and says oh, nobody told us.   He says that all he and his family request is to be given his brother’s body back, so that he can be buried among his own.  Ummmmmm, hate to break it to you Jasper, but, you snooze you lose…   The next CNN headline read: Bin Laden’s Brother Reacts.   Reacts how?   This goes beyond the scope of ridiculous…

Now please guys, help me here…  Isn’t it amazing, Obama is at pretty much his lowest ratings ever.   All of a sudden, yesterday, supposedly Gadhafi’s son and grandchildren were killed, he supposedly survives, and not a single picture of anything is shown.  Woo hoo, another victory for Obama.  Then, we get all of this right after it, and, you guessed it, no pictures, no proof whatsoever.   Does this remind you guys of anything? No plane parts?   No blood, no body parts?   Really?   Seriously?   Man, we must really be drinking the punch if we buy so much as a single fiber of this.   I lost many very good friends on 9/11.   My friends lost family members.   My coworkers were called to duty.   Many people have not come back.   And still, even the immediate families have no answers.   Many said on the news today that bin Laden’s supposed death means absolutely nothing.   It will not bring their son, back it will not bring their daughter back… and you know what?   They are absolutely right…

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Make Money Eating Your Boogers????

I gotta tell ya…

I’m INUNDATED with at least, no joke, 150+ emails a DAY hawking the latest, greatest Internet Marketing Guru BULLSHIT… Here I sit at my desk, shaking my head, with over 8500 unread emails in my inbox… Think I’m kidding???

See???

Well, it’s all good, because NOW, it’s time to fight back! They charge $150 a month for the latest greatest traffic getter software, then $100 a month for the YouTube spammer software, and they don’t even WORK! So here’s the deal… I made my OWN ebook on how to make money, and it’s not a hundred fifty bucks, not even a hundred bucks, not even a dollar, it’s….

FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

That’s right, a FREEEEEEEE download! Not only is it FUNNY, it’s the COOLEST thing I’ve found in awhile, and it’s something ANYBODY can do, free, and make BUCKS, right now! As in, in 5 minutes. No scam, legit “work.” No hype, no bull, and it’s fun, too! And, what’s it called???

Make Money Online For Eating

Your Boogers:

The No-Bull Guide to Making

Money Online, Today,

Right Now, Guaranteed,

No Experience Necessary!

Pretty cool title, right?

But it’s true! I SWEAR!!! You CAN make money eating your boogers online!!! Just download the book and see if I’m lying! When you see what you can do AND get paid for it, you’ll come up with some wild ideas of your own! I tripped on this stuff in the last couple of weeks, and not only have I made $300, I’ve laughed at what people have asked other people to do, lol! Just check it out, you’ll get a laugh, AND ya just might make a few bucks! AND you can give it away to anybody you like, as long as you don’t change it, or try to say you wrote it and not me. Oh, wait a second… If this were a sales page for an internet marketing product, then it should be worded differently. Hmmmmmm… okay…

Are you broke? I’m broke too, boo hoo hoo!!! (identify with people’s pain…) I lost my job, sniff sniff. I sit here, wallowing in self pity, picking my nose. “Nobody’s hiring!” I say, and my husband looks at me and says, “well, you should see if anybody’s hiring people to eat boogers, because you have enough on your finger to feed a small country, you’d be rich…” So I go to type it into Google and WHAT do you THINK I FOUND???

Errrrrr, yeah. You get the idea… Anyways, GET THE BOOK, lol! It’s a whopping 8 pages long, and who knows, you’ll get a laugh, have some fun, and maybe make a few bucks in the process! Just click on the big red button under the photo for instant fun! I mean DOWNLOAD!!!

Make Money Online For Eating Your Boogers, the No-Bull Guide to Making Money Online TODAY, Guaranteed, RIGHT now, No Experience Necessary!

Make Money Online For Eating Your Boogers, the No-Bull Guide to Making Money Online TODAY, Guaranteed, RIGHT now, No Experience Necessary!

Buy Now!

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Make Money Eating Your Boogers????

I gotta tell ya…

   I’m INUNDATED with at least, no joke, 150+ emails a DAY hawking the latest, greatest Internet Marketing Guru BULLSHIT…  Here I sit at my desk, shaking my head, with over 8500 unread emails in my inbox…  Think I’m kidding???

See???

  Well, it’s all good, because NOW, it’s time to fight back!  They charge $150 a month for the latest greatest traffic getter software, then $100 a month for the YouTube spammer software, and they don’t even WORK!  So here’s the deal…  I made my OWN ebook on how to make money, and it’s not a hundred fifty bucks, not even a hundred bucks, not even a dollar, it’s….

FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

That’s right, a FREEEEEEEE download!  Not only is it FUNNY, it’s the COOLEST thing I’ve found in awhile, and it’s something ANYBODY can do, free, and make BUCKS, right now!  As in, in 5 minutes.  No scam, legit “work.”  No hype, no bull, and it’s fun, too!  And, what’s it called???

Make Money Online For Eating

Your Boogers:

The No-Bull Guide to Making

Money Online, Today,

Right Now, Guaranteed,

No Experience Necessary!

Pretty cool title, right?

But it’s true!  I SWEAR!!!  You CAN make money eating your boogers online!!!  Just download the book and see if I’m lying!  When you see what you can do AND get paid for it, you’ll come up with some wild ideas of your own!  I tripped on this stuff in the last couple of weeks, and not only have I made $300, I’ve laughed at what people have asked other people to do, lol!  Just check it out, you’ll get a laugh, AND ya just might make a few bucks!  AND you can give it away to anybody you like, as long as you don’t change it, or try to say you wrote it and not me.  Oh, wait a second…  If this were a sales page for an internet marketing product, then it should be worded differently.   Hmmmmmm…  okay…

Are you broke?  I’m broke too, boo hoo hoo!!!  (identify with people’s pain…)  I lost my job, sniff sniff.  I sit here, wallowing in self pity, picking my nose.  “Nobody’s hiring!” I say, and my husband looks at me and says, “well, you should see if anybody’s hiring people to eat boogers, because you have enough on your finger to feed a small country, you’d be rich…”  So I go to type it into Google and WHAT do you THINK I FOUND???

Errrrrr, yeah.  You get the idea…  Anyways, GET THE BOOK, lol!  It’s a whopping 8 pages long, and who knows, you’ll get a laugh, have some fun, and maybe make a few bucks in the process!  Just click on the big red button under the photo for instant fun!  I mean DOWNLOAD!!!

Make Money Online For Eating Your Boogers, the No-Bull Guide to Making Money Online TODAY, Guaranteed, RIGHT now, No Experience Necessary!

Make Money Online For Eating Your Boogers, the No-Bull Guide to Making Money Online TODAY, Guaranteed, RIGHT now, No Experience Necessary!

 Buy Now!

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Pinky and the Brain
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Are you a Twitter Tweeter?  How ’bout your dog?  Don’t look at me like that, he can be!  With Mattel‘s new “Puppy Tweets,” your dog, too, can join the social media frenzy!

Mattel’s new invention is an electronic dog tag that you just clip onto your pooch’s collar.  Each tag has a sensor that will detect your dog’s barks, growls, and activity level.  It then sends tweets to a special doggy Twitter page.  Not only can you set it up on your computer, you can also set it up on any smartphone.

So now,  as if keeping up with your own Twitter account isn’t mind boggling enough, you can check up on your fave buddy’s tweets, too.  Then, you can also invite your friends and family to follow his/het tweets, too. (!)  This is, errr, a great gift for someone that LUVVVVVVS their pets as much as their social networking.

So the tag comes pre-programmed with 500 different “tweets,” and weighs only .05 oz, and comes in pink or blue.  The interesting part is that the tweets are dependent upon the dog’s activity level.  The higher the level, the more often the tweet updates.  Bigger, slower dogs might tweet that, “Your comforter does just what the name says it does…” whereas a smaller, jumpier/bouncier little guy would tweet that, “Chasing everything that moves is definitely a full time job!”  Mattel has added an extra 200 tweets, just to make sure that things don’t get boring…

The only downfall is that the Puppy Tweets unit won’t work on smaller dogs, and as yet, you can’t reply to your dogs tweets/posts.  At some eventuality, maybe, but not right now.

My take?

OK.  I have an iguana.  (Don’t look at me like that!)  I have a cat.  And I have a dog.  My lazy, 135 lb. Bull Mastiff would just post his snoring on a non-stop duplicate tweet, thus getting him banned.  Iguana?  I’m out on that one.  But the hysterical part of all this is, your whole family knows your little foofie smoofiekins, and you can invite them to follow (!)… BUT…  They can’t tweet anything back!  I’m rolling on the floor laughing because I LOVE my dog, and I LOVE social media (17k followers across just the Twitter accounts), but this?  ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..  NO.  Funnier thing is that I said to my husband, can you imagine little yappy dogs with the “post frequency goes by the dog’s activity level…”  And then it says that it won’t work on little dogs…  probably because they’d give the chip a meltdown… rofl!  A friend on Gather.com joked that her cat would tweet his evil plan to take over the world, which would then get HIM caught by the FBI…  All I could think of was the Steven Spielberg cartoon, Pinky and the Brain

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?

Brain: We must prepare for tomorrow night.

Pinky: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?

Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky – try to take over the world!

Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?

Pinky: Are you pondering cheese sticks?

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TN State Prison 39
Image by Exothermic via Flickr

In Cleveland, Tennessee, officials in Bradley County Jail have been issuing all of their new inmates old underwear.  As in, underwear previously used by other prisoners.  Sheriff Jim Ruth talked about the policy yesterday with county commissioners, citing that it is perfectly safe because the underwear are “thoroughly washed.”

Bob Gault, spokesman for the Sheriff’s Department told the Associated Press this afternoon that this has been a long time practice for the jail.  They issue everything the incoming prisoners wear, and see that it is all sanitized.

The Tennessee Corrections Institute has the job of inspecting the jails, and says that the practice of reissuing the underwear is allowed.  Their rules require that prisoner clothing be washed twice a week.

The Tennessee Department of Corrections issues THEIR inmates NEW underwear.  Their spokeswoman, Dorinda Carter said, “When an inmate leaves, his underwear leaves with him…”

Are the Bradley County jail inmates jealous?  Guess it brings a whole new meaning to “inmate intimates…”

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You want a WHAT for the livingroom??? (Get one here!)


Well, if you’re looking to have some (hopefully) LESS painful fun in YOUR livingroom, believe it or not, they DO sell these bad boys online! Yes, ladies, You can now get…

Your Very Own Stripper Pole!

The Peekaboo Hot Pink Party Pole includes a three piece professional dance pole, assembly guide, DVD and a portable storage bag.

The Peekaboo line of stripper poles are durable and easy to assemble. This sturdy dancing pole can be used for striptease, strip aerobics, aerobics and party pole dancing.

The Hot Pink Party Stripper Pole adjusts and extends up to 8’6″ tall to fit most standard ceilings. This pole must be screwed into the ceiling to carry persons over 220lbs and can be used by those up to 265lbs.

Apparently, the latest craze at bachelorette parties is to learn how to pole dance. Well, if you don’t have access to a pole dancing instructor (who does?) then this is the ticket. Besides, after the party is over you can give the pole to the bride.

The Peekaboo Stripper Pole is easy to install and fits any ceiling between 7 ft. and 8 feet 6 inches. It doesn’t require any nails or screws (though you can screw it in to make it hold more weight).

Want one??? CLICK HERE!

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…Like a Chicken With Your Head Cut Off?  You MUST Be From Fairbanks, AK!

ChickenCooked5

Must be from Fairbanks!

FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Alaska State Troopers are puzzled by a gruesome discovery in the city of North Pole: 26 headless chickens carefully arranged at a coop.  (carefully???  Do I really wanna know?  Crop formation???)

Police say the fly-infested chicken carcasses found Monday were arranged in a 12- to 15-foot-long line pattern that ended in a circle. There was no sign of the missing heads.  (OK, so no crop formation… well, maybe.  Think they opted for chicken soup?  Oh, MY bad, that’s chicken FEET, right???)

Three chickens were left unharmed, and there was no damage to the coop.  (sooooo, the Tweety killer MIGHTA been bigger than a breadbox?  Sylvester maybe?)

Trooper spokeswoman Megan Peters says officers “have no idea what the thought process was.”  (ya THINK?!?!?!  I’m sorry, officer, I REALLY wanted some soup!)

They say there’s a possibility that the killings were intended as a threat. Those responsible could be charged with felony criminal mischief.  ( a THREAT, lol???)

The birds were unsuitable for eating, so investigators disposed of the chickens after photographing the scene.  (They eat DOUGHNUTS, remember?!?!?!)

ummmm….  I got nothin….

CG

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I’ve heard of Guilt Free Indulgence, but this is AWESOME!

White Castle Burger Candle

White Castle Burger Candle

Check it out….

Okay. So, this week in Columbus Ohio, lovers of the almighty Murder Burger came up with a new way to enjoy these little bad boys without all the guilt and calories;  they’ve created a scented candle infused with the amazing aroma of fresh White Castle Burgers…

The mega fast food chain based in Columbus Ohio introduced these candles that smell just like the real thing…  Yes, candles that smell like White Castle Sliders, I can’t POSSIBLY make that up, lol!  I could NEVER light one of these up in my house, I’d be out on a road trip to go buy ‘em within the hour…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKaGOb889GA

But here’s the REALLY cool part: These candles were designed to be sold in a promotion with Autism Speaks.  The candles will cost $10, and all proceeds will go to benefit the New York based charity.  The candles look just like a packaged White Castle Murder Burger, and smell like ‘em, too!  These are being sold at White Castle Stores and on their website.  The wax is set inside a ceramic base that’s shaped like the box a White Castle comes in…

What a COOL idea to do something DIFFERENT to help an awesome charity!  Guys, go to any participating store, it’s ten bucks. Some of the enjoyment, none of the guilt, or gastrointestinal distress!  And, it DOES go to a good cause…..  CG

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